Broad Spectrum

A whirlwind of eclectic insanity composes what adults have pinned as the “teenage years.” We are just a bunch of hormone raging, juvenile delinquents with lots of time on our hands. And it’s during this period of our lives when we must make some of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make, like answering the ever present question “what am I going to do for the rest of my life?” This being my senior year, that question is more relevant than ever. With the pressure of college decisions looming in the air, anxiety and stress have started to creep in. I will admit it, I am scared for my future. I want to know exactly what I am supposed to do with my life. I want a perfect yellow brick road carved out for me. I want a cherub to float down from the heavens and bestow upon me a glass bottle that contains my destiny. But as of late, I have had no such luck. I have been stuck in this rut of not knowing what I want to do for a couple of months now. I thought I had it figured out. I really believed that I wanted to get an undergraduate degree in a science, go to medical school, and become a doctor. I looked into all the programs, knew the hard work it would take to get there, and calculated how my family could finance undergraduate and medical school. But in early October, I woke up one day and was not excited about the thought of becoming a doctor. In fact, I was frightened. Thinking about being a doctor every day for the rest of my life made me a little bit nauseous. Even more than that, realizing I did not know what I wanted to do with my life petrified me. I felt like I had to know right then what career path to take. After all, it’s my senior year of high school! I need some sort of inkling of an IDEA of what I want to do, or rather, what I am meant to do. The thought of being alone and trapped on this island of indecisiveness consumed me, and it has eaten at me for the past months. It has gnawed and chewed and even kicked until I realized:

It’s OKAY to not know what I am doing.

I do not have a time limit on deciding what I want to do! I do have to declare a major of course, but I can take lots of classes and find something really interesting. What career I pick now does not determine the outcome of the rest of my life. If you do know what you want to do, that is awesome! I commend you for having such a passion for something that you know for sure your path! BUT, if you do not know what you want to do, that is okay too! People who do not know are not the freaks of society. I have realized that it is completely normal to not know what your calling is. I have decided to stop worrying so much about the future, enjoy my senior year, and take life one day at a time.

-Olivia Hendrick